8 Reasons Why We Won’t Be Facebook Friends in 2014

This year, the most annoying things on my Facebook feed weren’t engagement/wedding/baby pictures, but idiots. I’m unfollowing/unfriending you in 2014 if…

#1: You’re just trying to piss people off. Whether it’s an ultra-conservative post for all your liberal friends or an ultra-Harry-Potter post for all your Twilight friends, you’re just an ultra-bastard looking for attention.

#2: You not only believe this Brangelina letter, you posted it with comments like “Beautiful!” and “Every man should read this!” It’s fake, idiot.

#3: Your profile pictures are all accompanied by “inspiring” quotes by “anonymous” or “unknown.” But a simple Google search reveals that they’re just Billy Joel lyrics.

#4: Your idea of wisdom for 20-somethings comes from a Buzzfeed list.

#5: You gave your two cents about Duck Dynasty.

#6: You shared your harrowing tale of depression and divorce via status updates.


#8: I don’t know you.

It’s probably for the best that we stop being “friends.”


294 thoughts on “8 Reasons Why We Won’t Be Facebook Friends in 2014

  1. I love your short and sweet GIF post. Reeks of truth!

  2. Loved it… #9 – Game requests!

  3. Don’t forget the people who like too many Vines, WE DON’T CARE

  4. Reblogged this on nastyatrianta and commented:
    Sums up my thoughts on unnecessary facebook friends. Although, I probably would just block them from my newsfeed so I wouldn’t have to see their attention-seeking statuses/photos/etc…

  5. Reblogged this on rtgurl and commented:
    this is funny! you’re welcome lol

  6. I wouldn’t have any friends left if I did this..

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  8. Unfortunately I can relate to some people that do some of these.

  9. this is said as exactly! lol

  10. Funny, I’m writing a blog post about this very thing… also 8 reasons. Apparently the ‘like’ is wearing off of fb.

  11. Good! I thought I was being cruel and intolerant. I feel better now! :)

  12. This is brilliant :D Made me laugh!

  13. Reblogged this on Junk Food King and commented:
    I’m a member of facebook and get almost as annoyed at posts as I am entertained by them. Interesting…..

  14. Reblogged this on World Reviewed and commented:
    This is really neat and tells you a lot about where we stand

  15. Funny! I am going to start looking out for some of the points mentioned:)

  16. Ha. I’m so off your 2014 friends list! Great post. I’m still laughing, not only at your post but also seeing myself through your post! Thank you for the heads up. Totally enjoyed it.

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  18. If we are truly friends, that won’t stop us from being connected in facebook.

  19. Maybe you should write about what you look for in a friend. I’m sure there will be plenty of ass kissers you’ll approve of and then your idea of utopia can begin to ease your pain.

  20. This was a fun read. Thank you for reminding me of why I do not like FB. Thanks.. made me laugh.

  21. Love this!
    Every 6 months or so I do a massive Facebook delete.
    The newest FB annoyance is the friend of a friend who “likes” or “comments” on EVERYTHING I post, the minute I post it…. Bye bye.

  22. Awesome list.
    I’m thinking of giving up Facebook for good. I’m still on the fence about that. Whenever I check it, all I see are memes galore and vines. I’m gravitating towards Google+.

  23. And this is exactly why I do not have a Facebook…

  24. You nailed it! Thank you for the guidelines. Time for the “great Facebook friend purge of 2014″

  25. haha this made me laugh! Thank you

  26. I just deactivated my account. I’m so tired of hearing “I’m at the gym!” “I’m at the concert!” “i’m taking a dump!” Okay, the last one is an exaggeration, but I’ve also become a slave to it and it’s not healthy. Long Live No Facebook!

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  28. No other tale could have more truer words than this……..

  29. The ‘unfollow’ option is my new best friend :)

  30. Reblogged this on mukundaa and commented:
    This is true ain’t it?

  31. Couldn’t agree more!

  32. hehe….I have got to unfriend so many people…but I don’t want to be fb-rude to them. :P

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