The Pregnant Working Mom's Prayer

O Fashion Gods,

Forgive me for what I am about to wear.

I know I wore this outfit last week,

But I only have 6 shirts that fit me right now.

I know that I should tuck in this top

For that sleek, high-waisted look,

But I don’t have a waist anymore

And this shirt is just big enough to cover my bump.

I know I shouldn’t wear stretchy jeans again today,

But my slacks stopped fitting 3 months ago.

I know running shoes don’t go with this look,

But my feet hurt so much lately,

And I need the extra arch support.

I promise,

When this baby’s out,

And I have performed my breastfeeding duties

And doody-filled duties,

When I have lost all the baby weight I can,

And bought new clothes for what I can’t,

I promise that

One day

I will be fashionable again.

Forgive me for now.

Amen.

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